Communication During Disagreements

           The assignment for this week was to think about a disagreement that has happened recently in my life and what tools I have used to resolve the conflict. The conflict that comes to mind is one with a colleague of mine at work. We are both passionate people, and sometimes we disagree about the direction that projects should go. We are also have very different personalities and ways of doing things; I am comfortable with spontaneity and see things from a global perspective where she is detail oriented and feels more comfortable with thinking everything through carefully.
           We recently put a few strategies in place that have helped our communication. We are doing an Action Log where anything that happens regarding our project is written down and shared so that no one is caught off guard. We are also meeting for a few minutes after other office meetings to touch base and catch up. These are good examples of the 3Rs in action (Laureate Education Inc., 2013). They show respect because they honor both of our processing styles, they are reciprocal because it gives us two places to have our voices heard, and they are responsive because it keeps us connected in a way that moves our work forward. She has expressed her appreciation to me for my efforts, and has explained that clear communication helps her feel less ambiguous.
          Today we had a moment when there was a conflict about a discussion that was happening. I took it as an opportunity to to use two additional nonviolent communication skills that I learned about this week-empathetic listening and honest expressing (Center for Nonviolent Communication, n.d.). When she made a comment that seemed aggressive to me, instead of filing it away and letting it fester, I calmly explained to her that I felt uncomfortable with her comment. I asked her to listen to me and I listened to her, and we worked through the issue. I think this is important because little miscommunications can build up over time and cause big problems later on. I loved the quote from The Third Side website (n.d.) from Lao-Tzu that says, "Confront the difficult while it is still easy; accomplish the great task by a series of small acts." Being mindful of communications and working toward effective interactions daily is the most effective way to solve disagreements and keep the lines of communication open!  



Resources:

Center for Nonviolent Communication. (n.d.). Foundations of nvc. Retrieved (November     

           25, 2013) from http://www.cnvc.org/learn/nvc-foundations

 

Laureate Education Inc. (2013). What are the 3 R’s of skilled dialog? Retrieved    

           (November 25, 2013) from http://class.walden.edu/webapps/portal/frameset.jsp

 

The Third Side. (n.d.) 3s skills. Retrieved (November 25, 2013) from

           http://www.thirdside.org