Communicating Differently with Different People

          I do communicate differently with different people in different situations. I use self-monitoring to determine how I should present myself (O'Hair & Wiemann, 2012). The three strategies that I use to decide how to communicate, both verbally and non-verbally, are listening, watching, and asking questions. I then present myself in a way that helps me fit into the environment through self-presentation (O'Hair & Wiemann).
          Three specific environments where I do this are family, friends, and work. In my family environment we are typically more comfortable with each other in our communication styles. However, if someone brings a new person to family gatherings, I am on my best behavior until I know how comfortable they are with the loud, sarcastic, and sometimes colorful language that happens at family gatherings. With my friends, I am always myself, and openly express my true feelings, attitudes, and beliefs regardless of who is included in the social gathering. I do this because I expect that my friends have a clear understanding of who I am and what I am like, and they would not bring new people into the situation if they would be uncomfortable around me. I also feel that if they are going to be a friend, they need to get to know the real me! However, I do use my self-monitoring skills, and if I notice that someone is uncomfortable with my communications, I can reign myself in. At work I am constantly using my self-monitoring skills, because different situations allow for different types of self-presentation. When I am in a meeting with the colleagues in my office I am much more relaxed in my communications than I am in a room of state leaders, legislators, and stakeholders. In these situations I dress, speak, and act as formal as the most formal person in the room. When we have all gotten to know each other better, the communication often relaxes.
           I am concerned about acting appropriately in social situations, and I do have the ability to play a variety of roles depending on the setting. I think that using good listening and watching skills, and asking questions when needed, we show respect for the other people around us and communicate a desire to build positive relationships.

O'Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication: An introduction. (2nd ed., pp. 

          55-56). New York: Bedford/St. Martin's.