Relationship Reflection

A baby is born with the need to be loved and never outgrows it. 

 ~Frank A. Clark

I am a firm believer that relationships are the most important thing we, as humans, can give to one another. This has been my philosophy throughout my life and it has never let me down. I build relationships everywhere I go, and because of that, I have many people in my life who love me and trust me. I have been very fortunate to have many wonderful relationships over the years, but the three people I’d like to dedicate this post to are my husband and my two daughters. 

My husband Frank and I actually met 17 years ago when he brought his son to the child care where I was the Director. His family and my family became friends and we watched each other over the years struggle to make our lives work. 4 ½ years ago, when we were both in the right place, we got together and we have never let go! This relationship is so important to me because I wanted so much to find someone who I could feel safe with, be myself with, and grow with. He allows me to be who I am and supports me when I want to do crazy things…like going back for my Master’s degree at almost 50! We both see this relationship as very precious because we have both experienced what it is like to be with

someone who did not understand how important love is. Blending a family has not been easy, but we work on communicating when issues arise. We are dedicated to making this relationship work because it has become the foundation for the rest of our lives.

 

My daughters Courtney and Alyssa are the other two relationships I’d like to tell you about. Being a mother has been the greatest joy in my life and I treasure the relationship that I have with my girls. They are as different as night and day, but they love each other dearly, and each of them has things about them that are endearing.  When they were little girls the three of us would do everything together. Now that they are grown, and one lives in a different state, we plan and wait for the time we can get together. Being a mother has taught me that not everything about relationships is easy, but it is always worth it. My girls, like all young people, made some choices along the way that caused a strain on our relationship. But getting past the difficult times to find the laughter and the joy again is what being a mother is all about. I now have two children that are fabulous woman, and who I am proud to call my friends as well as my daughters.

My relationships with my husband and daughters have taught me three very important things that I will take with me into my other relationships:

•         Great relationships are worth all the work you put into them

•        Every relationship can bring in something valuable and unique

•         You never know what wonderful things may happen tomorrow because of a  relationship that you develop today

When I think about relationships, I think about the words reciprocal, commonality, communication, and respect. People who experience positive relationships realize that it requires input from both parties, that there is a need to find what each person has that is alike, the willingness to both talk and listen, and the realization that there are two (or more) unique people involved whose needs are valuable. This applies to my work in early childhood on a daily basis. Working with the children, the parents, the staff, and the larger early childhood population I put these four words into practice. Some examples are: really listening when children talk, responding quickly when babies cry, getting to know the parents as individuals, realizing that I am there to support the staff when they ask, and being willing to respectfully continue difficult conversations when a colleague and I disagree. I have never regretted living by the belief that relationships are the foundation for everything we do, and there are many relationships that I have formed through my early childhood experiences that have helped me define who I am today. I will continue to live by the words in the quote at the beginning of the blog in every aspect of my life!

Wrapping It Up

It's time to wrap up another course, one that I have really enjoyed! I want to begin by sharing an amazing website that was sent to me at work today. I wanted to share it because it has great resources that might help everyone as they continue their journey toward a graduate degree!  It is from the National Office of Child Care, The National Office of Children in Poverty, The National Administration for Children and Families, The Office of Planning, Research and Education and Interuniversity Consortium for Political and Social Research. The site is:

http://www.researchconnections.org/content/childcare/find

I have so many favorite quotes that it is hard to pick just a few to share!  Here are a few ...

While we try to teach our children all about life

Our children teach us what life is all about

~Angela Schwindt 

 

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the sidewalk before it stops snowing!

~Phyllis Diller

There are not seven wonders of the world in the eyes of a child. There are seven million.

~Walt Streighttiff.  

 

Cleaning and cooking can wait 'til tomorrow,

For babies grow up, we've learned to our sorrow.

So quiet down cobwebs, dust go to sleep,

I'm rocking my baby,

And babies don't keep.

~Ruth Hulbert Hamilton

The reason that I chose these four quotes is that I have been reflecting a lot lately on how quickly children grow! There are approximately 2000 days between the day a child is born and the day they start kindergarten, and the foundation for everything they are going to become happens in those first years. Stopping what we are doing to see the world through the eyes of a child is the most valuable gift we can give to ourselves and the children in our lives. 

Assessing the Whole Child

 

Howard Gardner's Theory of Multiple Intelligences

howardgardner.com

The topic for this week's blog is, taking into consideration the whole child, what should be assessed or measured. I would like to use Howard Gardner's eight multiple intelligences to explain my theory. I believe that each child has the right to have a full life and become a positive member of their society. In my opinion, what this looks like varies completely from person to person. Each child has aspects that make up the whole child; however, each child has one area that is usually stronger than all of the rest. Through this area of strength they can demonstrate intelligence in a different ways; and it is by focusing on the individual child's strengths that they should be accessed.  I will use my family as examples. My oldest is a visual learner which, according to Gardner, means that she is "word" smart. Her assessments should be done using language (ie: essays or verbal answers). My next daughter is a interpersonal learner, or "people" smart, according to Gardner. She should be accessed using social methods (ie: group work or group discussions). My son is a kinesthetic learner and he needs to be touching things in order to show you what he knows. His "body" smart style means that he needs to be assessed using his hands to show what he knows (ie: projects and demonstrations). My youngest daughter is proving to be a musical learner. She excels in anything that has to do with music, and needs to be accessed using this media (composing, playing and analyzing music). My first son-in-law is a logical learner and needs assessment tools that use numbers and math. My second son-in-law is an intrapersonal learner. He needs to show, in every way possible, that he is intelligent. The best way for him to do this is to allow him to choose the assessment tool.  (Yes, family get togethers at my house are interesting and fun!) Interestingly enough, here are what my children have chosen to become: #1 Editor, #2 Teacher, #3 Chef, #4 Symphony Musician, #5 CPA, #6 Military. They all ended up playing to their strengths, and showing that they are intelligent using their whole person in different ways.

 In a Montessori school in Toyko, Japanese children younger than third grade are not given any assessments. Their teachers observe them and report on their progress. After that, they are given an annual assessment from the International Schools Association that uses  a culturally sensitive test using multiple-choice questions, open-ended questions, and prompts. The target learning areas in this test are reading, writing and math.

I believe that assessment is important as a tool of information, but not as a way to label children. An assessment can help a teacher know where a child is in a particular area of development. They can then make a goal and determine culturally and developmentally approriate learning experiences to help the child reach that goal. However, many schools use assessment tools that only look at one kind intelligence and use limited, and often culturally and developmentally inappropriate ways to measure what children know. The children are then placed in a category using only that one piece of information to determine that placement. I am pleased that there are charter schools emerging in my state that address these issues so that children of all types of intelligences can succeed! 

Source:

Azabu M. (2003-2001). Assessment of student development and academic progress. Retrieved from

http://montessorijapan.com/index.php.assessment