My Connections to Play

You can learn more about a person in an hour of play than in a years’ worth of conversation 

~Plato

The opposite of play is not work-it’s depression

 ~Brian Sutton-Smith

 

I love the topic of this weeks blog because it takes me back to my childhood and makes me smile. I was fortunate to grow up in a safe neighborhood where there were lots of children. My sister and I would get up in the morning, have breakfast, and take off to play. The mothers in the neighborhood would feed lunch to all of the children who were at her house at noon, and then everyone would go home for dinner…often re-emerging after dinner to play a game of kick-soccer or hide-and-seek.  We got to know each other very well through, and when we couldn’t go out and play it was awful! My favorite toys were my Mrs. Beasley doll, my costume box, and my swing set. All of these things required my imagination, and none of these items had an “on” switch or batteries. Children today are surrounded by electronics and closed-ended toys that only have one purpose. However, when young children are given the chance to have unstructured play using items that are open-ended, their creativity does emerge. My hope for young children today is that they are given opportunities by their parents and caregivers to experience long periods of child-directed play, especially outside, with no toys that plug in or turn on.

I love to play and that is a HUGE reason why I was drawn to the field of early childhood! I am in administration now, but I never pass up the chance to go into a classroom and play with the playdough or dig in the sandbox. I am still very playful, and it sometimes gets me into trouble with colleagues that have forgotten that learning/producing and playing do go hand in hand. I think that my early experiences of hour upon hour of creative play have made me a more innovative adult and a better advocate for the early childhood field.

Relationship Reflection

A baby is born with the need to be loved and never outgrows it. 

 ~Frank A. Clark

I am a firm believer that relationships are the most important thing we, as humans, can give to one another. This has been my philosophy throughout my life and it has never let me down. I build relationships everywhere I go, and because of that, I have many people in my life who love me and trust me. I have been very fortunate to have many wonderful relationships over the years, but the three people I’d like to dedicate this post to are my husband and my two daughters. 

My husband Frank and I actually met 17 years ago when he brought his son to the child care where I was the Director. His family and my family became friends and we watched each other over the years struggle to make our lives work. 4 ½ years ago, when we were both in the right place, we got together and we have never let go! This relationship is so important to me because I wanted so much to find someone who I could feel safe with, be myself with, and grow with. He allows me to be who I am and supports me when I want to do crazy things…like going back for my Master’s degree at almost 50! We both see this relationship as very precious because we have both experienced what it is like to be with

someone who did not understand how important love is. Blending a family has not been easy, but we work on communicating when issues arise. We are dedicated to making this relationship work because it has become the foundation for the rest of our lives.

 

My daughters Courtney and Alyssa are the other two relationships I’d like to tell you about. Being a mother has been the greatest joy in my life and I treasure the relationship that I have with my girls. They are as different as night and day, but they love each other dearly, and each of them has things about them that are endearing.  When they were little girls the three of us would do everything together. Now that they are grown, and one lives in a different state, we plan and wait for the time we can get together. Being a mother has taught me that not everything about relationships is easy, but it is always worth it. My girls, like all young people, made some choices along the way that caused a strain on our relationship. But getting past the difficult times to find the laughter and the joy again is what being a mother is all about. I now have two children that are fabulous woman, and who I am proud to call my friends as well as my daughters.

My relationships with my husband and daughters have taught me three very important things that I will take with me into my other relationships:

•         Great relationships are worth all the work you put into them

•        Every relationship can bring in something valuable and unique

•         You never know what wonderful things may happen tomorrow because of a  relationship that you develop today

When I think about relationships, I think about the words reciprocal, commonality, communication, and respect. People who experience positive relationships realize that it requires input from both parties, that there is a need to find what each person has that is alike, the willingness to both talk and listen, and the realization that there are two (or more) unique people involved whose needs are valuable. This applies to my work in early childhood on a daily basis. Working with the children, the parents, the staff, and the larger early childhood population I put these four words into practice. Some examples are: really listening when children talk, responding quickly when babies cry, getting to know the parents as individuals, realizing that I am there to support the staff when they ask, and being willing to respectfully continue difficult conversations when a colleague and I disagree. I have never regretted living by the belief that relationships are the foundation for everything we do, and there are many relationships that I have formed through my early childhood experiences that have helped me define who I am today. I will continue to live by the words in the quote at the beginning of the blog in every aspect of my life!